I can remember being in high school and the only thing I could dream about was my wedding day and the children I eventually would have. Money was tight and there was little hope for a career. What made things worse was that we lived in a small town, with no opportunities for school leavers. My parents raised me and hoped for the best when I left school.
2 Days after my final Matric exam I was standing on our porch faced with a decision that would change the rest of my life, I just did not realize it then. An opportunity came up to work in JHB. I had to choose between the big City and a laid back life in a small town. I chose the City. Like always, with any decision, there is a price you have to pay. I had to leave the one guy behind that was ready to marry me. He let me go. I’ll always be greatful for that.
When I first came to the City it was so inviting, it still is. I studied and got a diploma attending Saturday classes while working a 40hr week. Then I got my drivers license, oh I was so proud of myself that day. I don’t know what kept me motivated all those years, perhaps it was the thought of going back to that small town. Life in the big city was so exciting, and a lack of excitement my whole life made me want more.
The years moved on and I only got married about 8 years after that day on the porch. At the same time some of my friends back home had their 3rd baby already.
Over the years I have realized that all things happen in good time, you just have to be patient enough to wait for it.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
The Office
When was it that I first walked into this office? Has it been 8 years? Yes, time has flown, and too quickly if I might add.
Like any other place, it holds allot of memories. Good ones and some bad. I am glad I got to be a part of all this, and I realize my time is running out. Soon I will move on to better and bigger things. It’s just a matter of time.
I can remember the day I got my drivers license and we all celebrated when I got back. Somehow there was always reason for celebration, with lots of wine of course! Then the day came when my future husband walked in, not knowing that 2 years later I would be planning our wedding in this same office.
Once a guy came in with a gun and left with my wedding ring, watch and cellphone. I have been aware of all that is happening around me from that day onwards. Maybe some things has to happen first before you take action.
Soon all this stuff will be standing in a new office 60kms away. I am a bit sad, but excited at the same time. At 30 some new adventures awaits. First I will be a mommy for the 2nd time, a little boy is almost ready to enter our lives in September of this year. Then I will be moving on to a new career. I try not to think about the 2nd part too much right now. Yes I am excited but I have to be a mommy first, then the other things can follow at their own pace.
The fact is, something has happened. I’m taking action.
Life goes on, it’s business as usual.
Like any other place, it holds allot of memories. Good ones and some bad. I am glad I got to be a part of all this, and I realize my time is running out. Soon I will move on to better and bigger things. It’s just a matter of time.
I can remember the day I got my drivers license and we all celebrated when I got back. Somehow there was always reason for celebration, with lots of wine of course! Then the day came when my future husband walked in, not knowing that 2 years later I would be planning our wedding in this same office.
Once a guy came in with a gun and left with my wedding ring, watch and cellphone. I have been aware of all that is happening around me from that day onwards. Maybe some things has to happen first before you take action.
Soon all this stuff will be standing in a new office 60kms away. I am a bit sad, but excited at the same time. At 30 some new adventures awaits. First I will be a mommy for the 2nd time, a little boy is almost ready to enter our lives in September of this year. Then I will be moving on to a new career. I try not to think about the 2nd part too much right now. Yes I am excited but I have to be a mommy first, then the other things can follow at their own pace.
The fact is, something has happened. I’m taking action.
Life goes on, it’s business as usual.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Mothers Day
In the month of May each year 2 things happen. It is Mothers day, and it is my late Mothers birthday. On Mothers day I still cry because I can’t pick up the phone and just call her, and on her birthday it is worse. I see allot of her in myself these days, managing a 4 year old and keeping things together. Some times I pause and know exactly how she felt when she told me not to do a certain thing. I know now that love and discipline walks hand in hand. She shouted at us when we got hurt because she cared for us, and all the “I told you so’s” was because she loved us and did not want us to get hurt.
I miss her. Her voice still echoes in my ears. In the beginning I was scared that the image in my mind I have of her would fade, but it never did. Maybe we are scared that we will forget when people die. But the truth is, they all leave something behind in order for us to remember them, whether it is something they did or said, that will stay with us for the rest of our lives. They have an impact and they do not know, you don’t realize it until they are gone. You try and remember the little things, all the detail, all the days spent in their presence.
I can tell you many stories about my mother. She loved me with all her heart.
I miss her. Her voice still echoes in my ears. In the beginning I was scared that the image in my mind I have of her would fade, but it never did. Maybe we are scared that we will forget when people die. But the truth is, they all leave something behind in order for us to remember them, whether it is something they did or said, that will stay with us for the rest of our lives. They have an impact and they do not know, you don’t realize it until they are gone. You try and remember the little things, all the detail, all the days spent in their presence.
I can tell you many stories about my mother. She loved me with all her heart.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
The Spa-bug
This should be on your list of things to do before you die. Visit a Spa with your sisters or close friends. We have fun, lots of it.
The 1st time still sticks in my mind. For the 1st time in anything you have to take a camera, even if you get silly stares from rich b*tches who does this kind of Spa thing every week. No Spa moment was going to escape that camera, and yes we, had to name the regulars, who could miss the entertainment of the day!!
Just a tip – don’t ever choose a “sound & relaxation therapy” option unless you really understand what it is all about. What a load of sh*t. They put a headphone on your ears, and the sounds that came out of that thing was like those sounds in pre-scool when they test your hearing. Rather give me dolphin or water sounds – eish what crap I tell you! The other problem was that we had to be quiet but we couldn’t stop talking…so the staff had to come and shhh us a couple of times. It was like the quiet room of the place, and we were there to vent about the children and husbands. Oops!
The next thing they do in s & l therapy is put sunglasses on your eyes that reminded me of something out of Starwars – may the force be with you when the lights starts sparkling all over the place. The worst was the Parafin wax feet treatment thereafter. No. 1 the wax was way too hot. (this we were told by other therapists at another Spa coz we were always asking about the temperature of that first wax treatment..)
The last Spa visit was a month ago. We never go back to the same place; we try them all out, which calls for a new adventure every time. Maybe the first time we did not know what to expect, that is why the 2nd time was way better and we had a blast! Well the bug did come back and bit us!! We try and go once in winter and once in summer, or when someone’s birthday come up the men knows that that is the best birthday present ever…
I love my husband, he allows me to be selfish sometimes and take a break with the girls.
We all need a break.
The 1st time still sticks in my mind. For the 1st time in anything you have to take a camera, even if you get silly stares from rich b*tches who does this kind of Spa thing every week. No Spa moment was going to escape that camera, and yes we, had to name the regulars, who could miss the entertainment of the day!!
Just a tip – don’t ever choose a “sound & relaxation therapy” option unless you really understand what it is all about. What a load of sh*t. They put a headphone on your ears, and the sounds that came out of that thing was like those sounds in pre-scool when they test your hearing. Rather give me dolphin or water sounds – eish what crap I tell you! The other problem was that we had to be quiet but we couldn’t stop talking…so the staff had to come and shhh us a couple of times. It was like the quiet room of the place, and we were there to vent about the children and husbands. Oops!
The next thing they do in s & l therapy is put sunglasses on your eyes that reminded me of something out of Starwars – may the force be with you when the lights starts sparkling all over the place. The worst was the Parafin wax feet treatment thereafter. No. 1 the wax was way too hot. (this we were told by other therapists at another Spa coz we were always asking about the temperature of that first wax treatment..)
The last Spa visit was a month ago. We never go back to the same place; we try them all out, which calls for a new adventure every time. Maybe the first time we did not know what to expect, that is why the 2nd time was way better and we had a blast! Well the bug did come back and bit us!! We try and go once in winter and once in summer, or when someone’s birthday come up the men knows that that is the best birthday present ever…
I love my husband, he allows me to be selfish sometimes and take a break with the girls.
We all need a break.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Running for Mom
It’s 5 o’clock Sunday morning. He puts on his running shoes and can almost sense my frustration when he looks over his shoulder. “Don’t worry honey, you’ll run again, we’ll buy you a new pair of running shoes when the time comes.” Although there is nothing wrong with my running shoes, I realize that he is trying to make me feel better.
It was nice to run with my partner. I had to stop because of the pregnancy, although there are women who run well into their 2nd trimester, we could not take any chances this time – doctors orders. I have run 5kms, 10kms & 21kms in my life, early on a Saturday or Sunday morning when most people like to sleep in because it is weekend. I have seen men dress up as ladies when it is a ladies race only, arranging for some humor along the way and at the same time getting their bodies in shape, in disguise. My sister & I have walked allot of 10kms talking, only realizing an hour later that the time was so short for all the things we wanted to gossip about!
I ran 21kms along the Hartbeespoortdam 2 years ago when I was supposed to attend my fathers wedding. The view was much better, the people friendlier, and to save myself from crying I did something good for my body instead. My thoughts were with my mother all the way. I have had a hard time letting go of Mom, I wasn’t ready for a stepmother all stuffed up in my face.
We all had to get a replacement when she died. Mine is a love for running.
It was nice to run with my partner. I had to stop because of the pregnancy, although there are women who run well into their 2nd trimester, we could not take any chances this time – doctors orders. I have run 5kms, 10kms & 21kms in my life, early on a Saturday or Sunday morning when most people like to sleep in because it is weekend. I have seen men dress up as ladies when it is a ladies race only, arranging for some humor along the way and at the same time getting their bodies in shape, in disguise. My sister & I have walked allot of 10kms talking, only realizing an hour later that the time was so short for all the things we wanted to gossip about!
I ran 21kms along the Hartbeespoortdam 2 years ago when I was supposed to attend my fathers wedding. The view was much better, the people friendlier, and to save myself from crying I did something good for my body instead. My thoughts were with my mother all the way. I have had a hard time letting go of Mom, I wasn’t ready for a stepmother all stuffed up in my face.
We all had to get a replacement when she died. Mine is a love for running.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
The joy of Tradition
1 March 2003. My father & I were waiting at the back of the church for the Wedding March to make our grand entrance, and of course for the music to start. Everything was perfect up until then, my sister took care of things from the minute we got at the venue and I was amazed that we were indeed a winning team. Did I say up until then everything was perfect?
The only song that played at that moment was “Breathe on me” from the Hillsongs Group. When the DJ had to restart that song for the 3rd time I realized something was up…. I could hear the whispers from the guests… Oh no, I thought, where the hell is the Groom? What has happened to the Wedding March, and are we at the right church??!!
My brother came walking around the building ask what the hold-up was and that the people were waiting. So were we…for the Wedding March!!! It turns out the lovely Groom that was about to become my husband changed the song the last minute. Of course, I thought, he has been living on his own planet for the last 27 years where there was no Wedding, Easter or Christmas traditions in place.
I did not walk down the isle on the Wedding March that day. It did not make a difference anyway, the man I have been waiting for for 24 years was going to be mine, and we had the rest of our lives to work on our own traditions together. What is in a song?
Last Christmas Claudia and I decorated the tree. She was all excited about the fairy lights and was dancing away in our living room. She asked her dad to put the Angel on top of the tree. I could see the tears in his eyes later that evening when he said thank you for bringing such joy to our lives every Christmas. Now that is what I call tradition.
The only song that played at that moment was “Breathe on me” from the Hillsongs Group. When the DJ had to restart that song for the 3rd time I realized something was up…. I could hear the whispers from the guests… Oh no, I thought, where the hell is the Groom? What has happened to the Wedding March, and are we at the right church??!!
My brother came walking around the building ask what the hold-up was and that the people were waiting. So were we…for the Wedding March!!! It turns out the lovely Groom that was about to become my husband changed the song the last minute. Of course, I thought, he has been living on his own planet for the last 27 years where there was no Wedding, Easter or Christmas traditions in place.
I did not walk down the isle on the Wedding March that day. It did not make a difference anyway, the man I have been waiting for for 24 years was going to be mine, and we had the rest of our lives to work on our own traditions together. What is in a song?
Last Christmas Claudia and I decorated the tree. She was all excited about the fairy lights and was dancing away in our living room. She asked her dad to put the Angel on top of the tree. I could see the tears in his eyes later that evening when he said thank you for bringing such joy to our lives every Christmas. Now that is what I call tradition.
Monday, May 4, 2009
The Best Friend
My best friend was born on the 7th of April 1978. 4 months later I was born, only for us to meet 14 years later at last. We clicked immediately at the beginning of Std.7. This year we are 30.
At the end of our Matric year we had to say our goodbyes, I moved 200kms away to the big city, leaving her behind in that small dreadful town. After that I think we only saw each other once or twice a year if we could cover the distance between us, or if we were lucky enough to be in town at the same time.
I went to visit her last year and noticed that she turned into a real Martha Stewart, a stay-at-home-mom with cupboards full of cookies and a pantry full of home made food and lots of time on her hands. Somehow she was a bit lonely, so we made the best we could of the few days that we could share together. She couldn’t stop talking; it was like we were in our early childhood again talking about old boyfriends and all the things we went through in our high school years. I told her about Facebook, some foreign name she had not heard before, and showed her the photos of our school friends I am now friends with on that foreign site. She has 3 children now, all grown up and she is a good mother, like I always imagined her to be. She gave me some tips to TTC and we shared our deepest secrets that I know would stay between us forever.
That weekend away did us both good. I realized that we are both Supermoms, whether we are staying at home or rushing to get to work in the morning traffic. If we could be one woman, with all our qualities put together, you’ll have the ultimate Supermom.
All of us have one, a best friend. The truth is, she is my best friend, and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.
At the end of our Matric year we had to say our goodbyes, I moved 200kms away to the big city, leaving her behind in that small dreadful town. After that I think we only saw each other once or twice a year if we could cover the distance between us, or if we were lucky enough to be in town at the same time.
I went to visit her last year and noticed that she turned into a real Martha Stewart, a stay-at-home-mom with cupboards full of cookies and a pantry full of home made food and lots of time on her hands. Somehow she was a bit lonely, so we made the best we could of the few days that we could share together. She couldn’t stop talking; it was like we were in our early childhood again talking about old boyfriends and all the things we went through in our high school years. I told her about Facebook, some foreign name she had not heard before, and showed her the photos of our school friends I am now friends with on that foreign site. She has 3 children now, all grown up and she is a good mother, like I always imagined her to be. She gave me some tips to TTC and we shared our deepest secrets that I know would stay between us forever.
That weekend away did us both good. I realized that we are both Supermoms, whether we are staying at home or rushing to get to work in the morning traffic. If we could be one woman, with all our qualities put together, you’ll have the ultimate Supermom.
All of us have one, a best friend. The truth is, she is my best friend, and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.
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