Assignments, building hunting..and children

I’m busy with a group assignment. Yeah, it sucks if it is supposed to be a group and you are doing all the work. Like you need someone to be your right wing, your support, exchanging ideas to make this thing work. Me myself and me..again. I don’t know if I will have the courage to stand in front of the class on Saturday and express myself. Who knows if the people who were supposed to give their input will be able to read my work. Because that is what it is. MY work. Because I am the only one who is worried about the marks. I cry if I get 70%. Ok I cried. All because I misread a whole 20 point question which I knew but answered wrong. It could have been 90%. Ag, life sucks. To other people 39% is nothing. They don't even wink.

This morning I went building hunting again, and guess what, after numerous calls to the company I couldn’t find the place. What’s so difficult about putting on your best jacket and meeting me outside. Ok I cried because I couldn’t find the place and no-one could help me. I did stop and ask for directions – I am not a MAN for heavens sake! After an hour of site seeing through the buildings I decided to drive to work 50kms away. What a morning wasted!

On top of all this both children are sick, I did not sleep a wink.

My momma told me there will be days like this……..

New shoes

Last night hubby came home with a brand new pair of tekkies for Claudia. She was so excited. Her old pair got lost at school, with her name marked on it and everything. I hope this time she will look after it more carefully. We have big school next year and it is better to teach her now than buying a new pair of school shoes every month next year.

It is amazing how children can get excited about the little things. Basically You might thing that you are there to teach your children lessons about life, but sometimes they let you see the world through their eyes and then you can learn from it yourself.

I miss the simple life. You would think life in the fast lane is exciting. Yes there is more to do, and many, many more opportunities. I don’t know if I will ever belong here.

It’s just too complicated.

Blue Monday post

I’m so down. Maybe if I had a date that everything would get better, I would feel better because then you can plan your life again. I don’t know where I find the strength to go through each day. I have thrown away so many opportunities. Lost. Gone.

Still I am greatful for what I have, every day. I am still willing to drive the 50kms to work everyday. I am still willing to do everything at home. Be a good mother, sister, wife and friend. It’s just that sometimes the tears can’t be hidden. With every drop you feel better, and you find new strength. So yes, I think it is necessary to cry in order to feel better.

It is not the end I know. In time I will be positive again, and find the strength to pick myself up from the ground. But for now, I would like some time out. One can only give so much of yourself.

I just wish that my circumstances would change. This year. Any year. As long as I know it will. It could have been worse. There are people that are worse off than I am and here I am complaining. Ungrateful. That's what you call it.

Sometimes you do really have no one.

The Curse of the pen, the scissors, and the brush…

The 3 things that used to get feet in our house while I was growing up was a pen, a pair of scissors, and a hairbrush. We even tied the pen to a string but to no avail, before long someone had plans with the pen elsewhere and untied it, for the next person to find an empty string.

So it is no surprise that I am always looking for the same 3 things in my house. This morning my brush was on the most wanted list. So it hit me – I am cursed. We are cursed.

My sister used to have the same problem, but swore she would not let this get her down, so now she puts these 3 items in a place where only she can find it, and of course she is the only one that knows to put it back after it has been used.

So now I am going shopping again this afternoon, Claudia has a project for Friday that would require cutting. Easier to buy one than to search for one….hmmmmm