I’m so down. Maybe if I had a date that everything would get better, I would feel better because then you can plan your life again. I don’t know where I find the strength to go through each day. I have thrown away so many opportunities. Lost. Gone.
Still I am greatful for what I have, every day. I am still willing to drive the 50kms to work everyday. I am still willing to do everything at home. Be a good mother, sister, wife and friend. It’s just that sometimes the tears can’t be hidden. With every drop you feel better, and you find new strength. So yes, I think it is necessary to cry in order to feel better.
It is not the end I know. In time I will be positive again, and find the strength to pick myself up from the ground. But for now, I would like some time out. One can only give so much of yourself.
I just wish that my circumstances would change. This year. Any year. As long as I know it will. It could have been worse. There are people that are worse off than I am and here I am complaining. Ungrateful. That's what you call it.
Sometimes you do really have no one.
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